In the traditional wedding reception, wedding toasts are supposed to go in a particular order. In a wedding that's more contemporary, all bets are off. GroomGroove.com offers some suggestions.

Nowadays there is much confusion about who toasts whom and when, and especially whether uninvited toastmasters can get up and spin a yarn about the groom's ex-girlfriends. It may not surprise you to learn there are no hard and fast rules anymore, but that doesn't mean you should ignore tradition altogether.

The traditional order of wedding toasts

• father of the bride
• groom
• best man

The father of the bride welcomes the guests to the reception (the reception he's paying for, remember?). He then offers a toast to his daughter. The groom then offers a toast to his bride. Traditionally, the best man toasts the newlyweds. Then, sound the dinner bell, because everyone eats.

Saying goodbye to tradition

You may never have attended a wedding reception where the toasts went in this order, and for good reason: it is slightly bizarre. No one says anything about the groom, for instance, and the groom's family seems strangely absent from the proceedings. You may also notice no female ever lifts a glass to offer a toast.

It is for this reason that the traditional order has been supplanted by one with a little more gender parity nowadays. Many weddings now do their toasts as follows:

• Best man toast to the groom
• Maid of honor toast to the bride
• Father of the groom toast to the bride
• Father of the bride toast to the groom
• Bride's toast
• Groom's toast

Your wedding may still feature the father of the bride offering a welcome and a toast. Your wedding may skip some of these toasts altogether.

Open mic?

You may have the fabulous idea of an open mic throughout the wedding reception, allowing guests to come up and present a liquor-charged anecdote about you and your bride. Having witnessed a number of these performances, the guys at GroomGroove.com advise you to avoid this. For every touching anecdote from your uncle, someone will invariably get up and make a total fool of themselves or embarrass you. And chances are, there won't be a shortage of speeches at the wedding.

It is important for your wedding mc to attempt to compare notes ahead of time to avoid repeating stories or themes, make sure that nobody says anything ridiculous, crude or insulting, and to calm any jitters of folks who aren't exactly debate club champions. Getting the order of wedding toasts down at the outset will go a long way in helping curb nervous nellies (including the groom!) and assuring the event a success. [Page 1 of 1]