Does your squash partner become a wedding crasher after a couple shots of gin? Have you been a member of "that table" at a recent wedding? Did alcohol made your family life difficult growing up and you fear might spoil the wedding? Problem drinkers abound in your family? Maybe your wedding should be an alcohol free (aka dry) one. What are the implications of such a decision? How do you fend off pressure to reverse your stance?

Alcohol free wedding - as opposed to a 'Free Alcohol' Wedding...

An open bar or cash bar wedding is a great occasion with the right crowd. Having liquor flowing with a bartender serving up beverages can be fun, easy, and bring the good of humanity to the forefront. That said, for some people, an alcohol-free wedding may be a good idea if you want to avoid any issues, are in a cash crunch or don't actually drink in the first place. You should not feel obliged to have booze at your wedding. And as for toasts, apple cider non-alcoholic champagne is equally festive and equally bubbly.

Some Alternatives

Having the wedding early in the day is one easy way of avoid confrontations about your choice. You can also substitute alcohol with a coffee bar serving up espresso, cappuccino and mochas. Or, have an ice cream or gelato bar. Or fondue. Be creative. There are certainly lots of ways to have fun without booze. You're going to face a bit of ribbing from your beer drinking college friends, so you may wish to float the concept before the reception.

Remaining Resolute

Once you and your bride both agree to have an alcohol free wedding, you'll need to quell any dissent in the most diplomatic manner. In some families, you may need to deal with pressure to reverse your decision. (And as funny as it sounds, someone close to you could protest the decision precisely because they are alcoholics.) Even if 95% of your guests can handle liquor, Uncle Larry may remain a distinct liability during the wedding toasts. (ed. - And by the way, it's the Best Man's duty to avoid Uncle Larry from making a scene.)

How to Spin & Win

You don't have to be a political operative to spin your anti-alcohol stance and keep the guests happy. Here are some arguments you could use to justify your non-alcoholic position:

1. Religious customs of the other spouse (existent or not!)
2. While you drank like a fish in college, you and your new wife now drink in moderation (or don't drink at all).
3. Some guests have requested a non-alcoholic reception (or course, never provide names or which side of the family.)
4. Alcohol simply costs too much or the venue doesn't allow for cash bars, and you can't afford to splurge.

Ultimately, a wedding belongs to you and your bride; "we decided it wasn't necessary" is a perfectly acceptable reason for a dry wedding.

Knowing When to Meet Halfway

Alcohol at your wedding may not prove be a black and white issue. A cash bar can be a compromise, though you may have "corking" fees or need to pay for supplies. Further, you and your bride can stipulate that only low content alcohol be served. To keep it light, have the bartender implement a 2 drink maximum.

Ultimately, staying resolute is an indication of integrity that will serve you well at your wedding and in your new marriage. You own this event and this experience, and if you'd like to have a dry wedding, those sharing in your joy will have to summon up some respect and self-control...at least until they get back to the hotel.

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